What is emotional abuse?

Emotional abuse is an attempt to control someone. It occurs when someone’s purpose is to frighten, control, manipulate, isolate or gradually ripple their victim’s self-esteem. It can include insults, verbal abuse, incremental exchanges of love and chaos, over-protection, monitoring of someone’s whereabouts, and invading someone’s need for privacy. At times emotional abuse can be mistaken for love due to the abusers grooming their victims. They may say “I’m only like this because I love you so much!” “I need to know exactly where you are at all times because I want you to be safe” or periodically becoming this loving person in an attempt to confuse their victims where victims may ask themselves “did the abuse really happen?”. Emotional abuse isn’t always physical but it can lead up to that. Emotional abuse can also occur in different types of relationships (friends, family, romantic partners, coworkers, bosses, etc.

Emotional abuse includes:

  • Isolating their victims from their loved ones and family

  • Withholding them from doing things they love in order to prevent them from having their sense of individuality and autonomy

  • Sarcasm and passive/aggressive comments

  • Silent treatment

  • Withholding love and affection if a partner fails to do what they say

  • Using confidential information that was shared in times of trust and vulnerability to shame and control their victims

  • Reactive abuse for abusers to conceal their tactics and make their victims look like they’re crazy to outsiders

  • Monitoring of whereabouts and setting a timeline when someone comes home for their satisfaction

  • Making their victims believe they are in fact the abusers

  • Dangling nice things they do for their victims in order for them to feel guilty

  • Preventing someone from achieving personal and professional development

  • Lack of boundaries (invading privacy, personal time, finding space to reset or do their own thing as threatening

  • Threatening to frighten their victims

    As time goes on victims of emotional abuse may not have seen it coming and they may blame themselves for the mistreatment or feel they can’t do anything right and that it’s their fault.

·        Symptoms of emotional abuse:

 Emotional abuse can produce a wide range of serious short- and long-term effects which are:

  • Isolation

  • Experiencing disassociation and brain fog

  • Difficulty trusting others

  • The agitation that may seem to come out of nowhere

  • Low sense of self

  • Excessive crying at random times of the day

  • Feeling like it’s your fault

  • Fear of judgment

If you’re a victim of emotional abuse please speak to a trusted friend or family member, domestic violence hotline, or email thehealingprojectbyvl@outlook.com